If you've been following my recent blog series on boundaries, you've already done some hard work learning to say no, stop automatically rescuing everyone, and make a little more room for yourself. Go you! But now that you've created some breathing room, there's another question: How do you actually take care of yourself in that space?
For highly sensitive people (HSPs), self-care isn't always about bubble baths, face masks, or booking a weekend at the spa. Sometimes the most restorative thing you can do is cancel the plans, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, and enjoy the glorious sound of absolutely nobody needing anything from you.
1. Make Room for Low-Stimulation Time
Self-care often gets presented as adding something enjoyable to your schedule. But for HSPs, one of the best forms of HSP self-care may be subtracting things instead.
Highly sensitive people tend to process sensory and emotional information more deeply, which can make busy environments and constant stimulation feel especially draining.¹ After a day of conversations, notifications, background noise, and navigating other people's moods, your brain might not need more stimulation in the form of strong perfumed scents and extreme temperatures (also known as a hot bubble bath). It might just need a minute to stop processing 4,000 things at once and decompress.
Try spending 20–30 minutes in a quiet room, putting on noise-canceling headphones, or simply lying down with an eye mask on and breathing. You don't have to meditate perfectly or achieve enlightenment. You're allowed to just lie there like a starfish for a hot second and let the intensity of the day drain out of you, like water from a sink that’s about to overflow.
And remember, needing downtime doesn't mean you're antisocial or boring. It means you're paying attention to what helps you recharge.
2. Give Yourself Space to Process Your Emotions
Have you ever had a perfectly pleasant day, come home, and suddenly felt emotionally exhausted without quite knowing why? Maybe you spent hours navigating other people's needs, picking up on tension at work, or listening to a friend who was having a difficult time.
Even when you genuinely care about people, being emotionally available all day takes energy. And sometimes you need a little space to figure out which feelings are yours, what you've been carrying for someone else, and what you actually need.
Build a buffer between demanding parts of your day. You might drive home without the radio, spend ten minutes journaling, sit quietly with a cup of tea, or take a short walk before jumping into family responsibilities.
You don't have to solve every feeling before moving on. Sometimes simply noticing, "That conversation really affected me," is enough to help you reconnect with yourself.
3. Stop Treating Your Body's Needs as Negotiable
Sometimes self-care is less about finding your inner peace and more about eating lunch before you become a cranky, overstimulated gremlin.
If you're sensitive to discomfort, small physical stressors can make an already demanding day harder. Being hungry, overheated, sleep-deprived, or stuck in itchy clothing might push you closer to overwhelm than you'd like.
Instead of treating these needs as inconveniences to push through, plan for them. Keep snacks handy. Wear clothes that feel comfortable. Take breaks before you're completely depleted. Protect your sleep whenever you can, and notice how your body responds to different environments.
You don't have to earn the right to be comfortable by finishing your to-do list first. Your body is not an annoying coworker whose requests you can keep ignoring until Friday.
4. Be Intentional About What You Let In
Your downtime can be technically restful while still leaving you feeling emotionally wrung out. A graphic news story, an intense true-crime series, or a social media feed full of conflict might keep your mind spinning long after you've put your phone down.
Pay attention to how different content affects you. If you notice that scrolling through upsetting news before bed leaves you tense or preoccupied, experiment with a news cutoff time. Curate your social media feed to include things that genuinely nourish you—art, humor, animals, nature, or people who make you feel good about being human.
This isn't about avoiding every difficult emotion or pretending the world is sunshine and rainbows. It's about recognizing that you can care about what's happening in the world without exposing yourself to every upsetting detail, all day long.
5. Let Nature Help You Recharge
One form of self-care I'm especially fond of is spending time in nature. A quiet walk among trees, sitting beside a stream, or simply noticing the sky can offer a welcome break from the constant demands of daily life. Research on restorative environments suggests that time in nature can help replenish attention that becomes fatigued by sustained mental effort.²
And no, you don't need to hike ten miles, buy expensive outdoor gear, or become the person who identifies every bird by its call. You can sit on your porch with a cup of coffee and watch the tall grass move in the breeze. That counts, too.
In my next blog, I'll explore why nature can be so restorative for highly sensitive people and how you can use its calming qualities as part of your self-care routine.
Learn to Honor the Sensitive Person You Actually Are
If your self-care looks a little boring or unproductive to someone else, that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. The goal isn't to follow someone else's perfect wellness routine. It's to learn what helps you feel grounded, replenished, and more like yourself.
I have more than a decade of professional experience helping people understand themselves and their needs, along with a lifetime of personal experience as an HSP navigating a world that doesn't always reward sensitivity. I know how easy it is to get caught up in trying to keep up with everyone else and forget that your own needs deserve attention, too.
If you are struggling to transition from setting boundaries to actively nurturing yourself, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Deeply understanding your sensitivity is a journey, and therapy can provide a safe space to explore what you need to thrive.
I offer free consultation calls where we can talk about what’s going on, and how therapy or coaching could help you reconnect with yourself and protect your peace.
References
¹ Aron, E. N., Aron, A., & Jagiellowicz, J. (2012). Sensory processing sensitivity: A review in the light of the evolution of biological responsivity. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 16(3), 262–282.
² Kaplan, S. (1995). The restorative benefits of nature: Toward an integrative framework. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 15(3), 169–182.