Today, what I'd like to talk to you about is what it takes to achieve your New Year's resolutions. This time of year, so many people are setting all of their New Year's resolutions, whether it's a new diet and exercise plan, or a business goal, or some other goal, without really having a sense of what it takes to create genuine change in their lives.
So if you have some New Year's resolutions that you are hoping to keep this year, I want you to take a couple minutes and watch this video because you're going to learn what the one most important things is to achieve those New Year's resolutions.
How We Set Ourselves Up for Failure
Before I get to the secret to creating lasting change in your life, let me just start by saying that a lot of times what we do when we set these New Year's resolutions is just set ourselves up for failure. That's because we don't understand the one crucial piece to what it takes to really create change in our lives.
We human beings, and I mean all of us, including myself, like to be comfortable, right? That is a universal human trait. And it's something that we fail to factor into a lot of our goals.
So, when you make your New Year's resolutions, you might not be focusing on the right things. You might think that in order to lose weight what you need is a new diet and exercise plan. You need to consult with a nutritionist. You need to do paleo. You need to be gluten-free, or try any of the other “Boulder” things. But, what you're doing is you're neglecting the single most important piece. And that is that we try to engineer comfort in every part of our lives, and in doing so we avoid discomfort. But discomfort is what it takes to create change.
Are You Willing to Do What It Takes to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions?
So, as you're setting your New Year's resolutions, I want you to ask yourself this question:
Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to try some new things that might feel weird and might not work right away in order to achieve this goal?
Now, I know you might be saying, "Yes, of course I am. Of course I'm willing to do these things. I'll do anything to meet this goal!” But before you give me that yes, I want you to just pause for a second and think about what that really means for your life.
Are you willing to tolerate discomfort?
It might include some of the standard things, like getting up at 5:00 AM for a workout, or creating a new diet plan, etc. Yes, that’s true. But if it's a diet and exercise goal, are you willing to breathe through the discomfort of whatever is going on in your life that would normally make you reach for a chocolate bar, or a bag of chips, or whatever it is? Because that is what is truly driving this behavior that you are trying to stop.
Are you willing to feel your feelings & address what’s underneath?
If your go-to mechanism for dealing with a hard day is to lose yourself in Netflix and check out at the end of the day, are you willing to peel yourself off the couch and take a look at and actually feel whatever's happening underneath, and then go do a workout rather than just losing yourself in the television?
Are you willing to fail, and fail again, before you succeed?
If it's a new business goal, are you willing to try a bunch of different strategies that you don't fully understand or you're kind of learning and fall flat on your face several times before you actually find the one that works?
Those are some of the things that you might actually have to face in order to keep those New Year's resolutions and create lasting change in your life.
I Can Help You Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions!
Now, if after listening to those things and coming up with maybe a few more on your own, your answer is still, "Yes, Becky. I really do think that I have what it takes," or, "I really do want to deal with the discomfort of having to make change in my life," then I want you to check out the info below for my new stress management group that’s starting in late January 2019.
I teach techniques for creating change that sticks in my…
Mindfulness-Based Stress Management Group
First and foremost, my stress management group includes peer support and you'll have my professional support as well. We're going to learn:
Mindfulness techniques that are going to help you breathe through that discomfort of whatever it is that you have been avoiding or not looking at in your life that has been driving some of these habits. Mindfulness might even help you notice some of the pieces that are going into those habits that you didn't know were there before.\
We're going to work on stress management techniques so that you can stop feeling stretched so thin by all the different competing demands on your time and you feel like you have nothing left for you to dedicate to these things that are important for you, these resolutions that you've set for the new year.
We're going to work on relaxation techniques so that you can relieve a lot of those worrisome thoughts that go through your head and might be stopping you from sleeping, and you can sleep better at night so that you are more recharged and have more energy to dedicate towards your goals.
We're also going to work on communication skills so that you can have those difficult conversations that you may need to have to support these goals and improve your relationships, whether that's at home or at work, okay?
Those are just a sampling of the things that we're going to learn in the upcoming stress management group. If you're interested, check out the link below and fill out an application to see if group is right for you.
For more information on how individual psychotherapy or coaching can help support you in creating real and lasting change in your life (whether it’s for new year’s resolutions or everyday change), check out the Individual Therapy & Coaching page.